Sunday, 25 May 2014

Kopi-o

This is kopi-o

You can find this served in any coffee shops un,the exact same glass and metal spoon. Not food courts in shopping malls.

Kopi-o means coffee with sugar

"o" means black in Hokkien

Saturday, 24 May 2014

COE

COE stands for Certificate Of Entitlement

What entitlement?

It is that to buy and drive a car in Singapore.

Yes, you need a certificate to own and drive a car, besides having a driver's license, insurance and paying road taxes.

Each COE is valid for 10years. If you want continue the same car after 10 years, you need to renew your car's COE. Yes, the COE is tied to a car, not the person.

COE is a way for the government to control the number of vehicles in Singapore. Without it, our roads will be one gaint car park. We simply don't have space for roads to accommodate everyone driving a car.

So, to buy a car. You need to bid for a COE. Bidding happens every fortnight. A certain number of COEs are available for bidding each time. Obviously, demand is usually more than supply of certificates, so certificates are given to highest bidders. But the system is fair in that COE price is the lowest bid among the successful bidder. So, if everyone just bid $1, COE will be just a dollar! That rarely happens. The biddings are usually by car dealers. So they want to ensure they can secure a certificate in order to fulfill a sales order.

There had been times that COE costs more than $10,000. That's more than the price of the car itself for normal bread and butter cars!!!






Hokkien expletives

These are well known to many local Singaporeans, as well as non-natives who grew up here. Especially true for men who went through National Service.

Hokkien is a type of Chinese dialect. The Hokkien Chinese forms the majority of the Singaporean Chinese people. I am not sure the exact reason, but it should be due to how immigration happened long time ago. Anyway, because of that, Hokkien naturally became the most commonly spoken dialect in Singapore. Even non-Hokkiens can speak or understand a few works/sentences, especially those used for cursing and swearing. Well, I guess if you are not Hokkien, and being a minority, it is good to know if you are being cursed at :)

Actually, those same swear or curse words are sometimes used between close friends during conversations, not for their literal meaning, but for adding colour and sense of brotherhood between the friends.

With the growth of internet, SMS, emails, IM, Facebook, blog, etc, these were migrated online too.

Some examples of Hokkien expletives:


Kan-Ni-Nah (KNN for online)
    this means fuck your mother

Usage:
    Usually this is really used for cursing and swearing. For joking and trash talk, this will be used only if the parties are really close buddies, else it can be very rude, for obvious reasons.

Example:
"Kan-Ni-Nah, what kind of service is this?"


Chow-Chee-Bye (CCB)
   this means smelly vagina
   yeah, we Hokkiens think calling someone a smelly vagina is swearing. I don't think an English man will say "hey you, smelly vagina, pull up your socks or you can don't report to work tomorrow!"

Usage:
    similar to KNN, but just slightly less offensive if used between friends during trash talk. Still should be used between close friends only. Guess mother is more sacred for Chinese.

Example:

"Chow-Chee-Bye! You want to pick a fight? Why are you staring at me?!"

Kan-Ni-Nah-bay-Chow-Chee-Bye (KNNBCCB)
     means fuck your mother's smelly vagina.
     The person must be very angry to use such a long one. Takes a lot of effort to say it.


Phua-Chee-Bye
    means torn vagina

Usage same as CCB
   so, a smelly or torn vagina is not well liked by Hokkiens.


Hong-Kan (no short form)
    means fuck

Usage:
    KNN, I don't think this needs further usage explanation!

Example:
    "Hong-Kan liao, didn't notice the police camera in overhead bridge just now. Sure get summoned for speeding"

"liao" is part of Singlish


Lan-Jiao
    means Penis

Lan-Jiao-Lang
    means Penis person
    its terrible feeling to be called that I guess!

Lum-Pah
    means Testicles, including the scrotum

Lum-Pah-Ji
    just the testicles


There are tons of others expletives but above are commonly used ones. To hear these in action, I suggest visiting coffeshops at Geylang after 12am on any days. Enjoy your supper and pick up a few new words!!

Cheers